I have wasted many years in not producing any art work, not even a sketch, because I thought it would be worthless. Not even tried…that is the sorrow-full bit. It would not have cost me anything.
I have hundreds of blank pages, loose (as in A4 copy paper, that you can buy from Tesco for £3 for hundreds of pages) and bound in proper sketchbooks. Good for ink, watercolours, acrylics, oils, you name it. I ‘ve got it. The same about crayons and pastels and brushes. Hundreds of them.
What has been missing all this time, is the DRIVE to do. To do anything arty.
I have lost time in browsing the internet, looking at art websites, other artists’ blogs, websites and videos and have got inspired and demotivated very quickly after looking, just like a rocket that ignites its engines and then loses the combustion bit in the stratosphere.
I have been immobilised by other people’s creations and productivity. It is good to blame others for our own shortcomings and procrastination. How easy it is to point the finger.
A few days ago I looked at dates on some of my drawings. 1996, 1997…ridiculous! That is a lifetime ago. Careless with my own gift.
If I think that I can never catch up with the ones that are ahead of me, I have to stop looking at their work and start doing my own work. Sit down, stand up, stand on one toe, lean sideways, but START. Log off, close the books, and do my own stuff.
Countless times I have said that it is no point in drawing and painting because I will never be as good as others. These days when information is permeating our lives even when we sleep, I can say it is a blessing and a curse for the creative people. My brain absorbs in a split second the work of another artist and if I was given a task to create an illustration with a bear in pyjamas, I would probably draw something similar to what I saw lat year on a website.. good chance.
Time to close those sites and the books and draw what is in my head. What did the great masters of a few centuries ago do? They did not google or go to reference books on Michelangelo. They were the Michelangelos of their time! They were the ones to just do that thing that gave them the reason to be alive, to do those things that they could not do without.
Drive comes from within. Time is the most precious thing we have.
I am off to my studio.